Way back when -- when people were difficult

Myth is the public dream, and dream is the private myth. - Joseph Campbell

The myth is that we should all be able to "get along with others." I was the eldest of five children and was often admonished to "get along" with my brother and sisters. It wasn't always easy for me to to understand how to to that. My people skills were immature, at best. I needed some help "way back when."

Later, I learned to love the help that handouts offered. Recently I came across this little handout, dated September 30, 1994. Titled,

"Dr. Dave's Top Ten Tips for Coping with Difficult People: How to Avoid Emotional Manipulation,"

I offer it here in full:

1. Stop wishing they were different (i.e. some chickens just don't have lips)
2. Depersonalize the experience
3. Create some psychological distance"
4. Monitor your physiological level of arousal (i.e. breathing, heartbeat, muscle tension, etc.)
5. Know your own "buttons" (and how you act--or feel--when they're pushed
6. Delay your immediate response
7. Try to slow down the interaction
8. Never underestimate the power of empathy (i.e., focus on feelings, not just facts)
9. Ask questions which require thinking
10. Avoid replaying the experience

Dr. David Welsh, Psychologist.

I thank Dr. Welsh for his thoughtful and useful ideas, just as valid in 2007 as "way back when."

Technorati tags: psychologyfriends family
My topical post today at South by Southwest and The Reaction is about domestic surveillance.
Cross-posted at Southwest Blogger