Making good Mondays is like making coffee -

The week is before us - like the coffee pot - waiting to brew. Making it good is a matter of choice, luck, creativity, patience and acceptance of the outcome.

Currently at Making Good Mondays

Active elements on this page: Occasionally I will publish a new blog post, but I write mostly at other sites.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Way back when -- when people were difficult

Myth is the public dream, and dream is the private myth. - Joseph Campbell

The myth is that we should all be able to "get along with others." I was the eldest of five children and was often admonished to "get along" with my brother and sisters. It wasn't always easy for me to to understand how to to that. My people skills were immature, at best. I needed some help "way back when."

Later, I learned to love the help that handouts offered. Recently I came across this little handout, dated September 30, 1994. Titled,

"Dr. Dave's Top Ten Tips for Coping with Difficult People: How to Avoid Emotional Manipulation,"
I offer it here in full:
  1. Stop wishing they were different (i.e. some chickens just don't have lips)
  2. Depersonalize the experience
  3. Create some psychological distance"
  4. Monitor your physiological level of arousal (i.e. breathing, heartbeat, muscle tension, etc.)
  5. Know your own "buttons" (and how you act--or feel--when they're pushed
  6. Delay your immediate response
  7. Try to slow down the interaction
  8. Never underestimate the power of empathy (i.e., focus on feelings, not just facts)
  9. Ask questions which require thinking
  10. Avoid replaying the experience
Dr. David Welsh, Psychologist.

I thank Dr. Welsh for his thoughtful and useful ideas, just as valid in 2007 as "way back when."

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My topical post today at South by Southwest and The Reaction is about domestic surveillance.
Cross-posted at Southwest Blogger

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References on Spirituality -- Favorites from my old collection

  • "A Return To Love: Reflections On the Principles Of a Course In Miracles" by Marianne Williamson. Harper Collins, 1992
  • "A World Waiting To Be Born: Civility Rediscovered" by M. Scott Peck. Simon and Schuster, 1993
  • "Chicken Soup For the Unsinkable Soul" by Canfield, Hansen and McNamara. Health Communications, 1999
  • "Compassion in Action: Setting Out On the Path of Service" by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush. Bell Tower Pub., 1992
  • "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain. MIF Books, 1978
  • "Finding Values That Work: The Search For Fulfillment" by Brian O'Connell. Walker & Co., 1978
  • "Fire in the Soul" by Joan Borysenko. Warner Books, 1993
  • "Further Along the Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. Simon and Schuster, 1993
  • "Guilt Is the Teacher, Love Is the Lesson" by Joan Borysenko. Warner Books, 1990
  • "Inner Simplicity: 100 Ways To Regain Peace and Nourish the Soul" by Elaine St. James. Hyperion, 1995
  • "Insearch:Psychology and Religion" by James Hillman. Spring Pub. 1994
  • "Man's Search For Himself" by Rollo May. Signet Books, 1953
  • "Mythologies" by William Butler Yeats. Macmillan, 1959
  • "Myths, Dreams and Religion" by Joseph Campbell. Spring Pub. 1988
  • "Passion for Life: Psychology and the Human Spirit" by John and Muriel James. Penguin Books, 1991
  • "Peace Is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hahn. Bantam Books , 1991
  • "The Heroine's Journey" by Mureen Murdock. Random House, 1990
  • "The Hope For Healing Human Evil" by M. Scott Peck. Simon and Schuster, 1983
  • "The House of Belonging" poems by David Whyte. Many Rivers Press, 2004
  • "The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth" by M.Scott Peck. Simon and Schuster, 1978
  • "The Soul's Code: In Search Of Character and Calling" by James Hillman. Random House, 1996
  • "The World Treasury of Modern Religious Thought" by Jaroslav Pelikan. Little, Brown & Co., 1990
  • "Unconditional Life" by Deepak Chopra. Bantam Books, 1992
  • "Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Hyperion, 1994
  • "Zen Keys: A Guide to Zen Practice" by Thich Nhat Hahn. Doubleday Dell Pub. Group, 1974

About Me

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A retired counselor, I am equal parts Techie and Artist. I am a Democrat who came to the Southwest to attend college. I married, had kids and have lived here all my adult life.